Why do I have to feel bad for my partner to feel better? When does venting cross the line and become unloading? Guest host Ann Kelley joins us one more time to talk about power dynamics in relationships. It can feel relieving to unload your frustrations, but is it causing your partner to shut down? Or is the venting partner looking for some kind of feedback that they’re not getting, making them feel like they have to keep unloading till they get a reaction? As always, there’s not one answer, but we can offer a roadmap for how couples can start exploring this for themselves.

We’re back with special guest Ann Kelley of the Therapist Uncensored podcast, and folks, she’s dropping knowledge bombs left and right on this one. Our question for today is from a listener in her 60s, getting ready to put herself out there to date after a divorce.

Welcome back to the Why Does My Partner Podcast. For this bonus mini-series, were joined by Ann Kelley from the Therapist Uncensored podcast to tackle our next set of listener questions. Ann is a licensed psychologist and co-author of Secure Relating along with her wife and podcasting partner, Sue Marriott.

Do you and your partner have rituals when you come back together from being apart? Today’s question opens up our to ways that implicit memories can stir up old learned expectations of what happens when someone leaves us. If you’ve experienced painful separations in your past, your body may still be expecting that, even when your mind knows that nothing is wrong. We talk about how that could show up for either partner in this situation, and Ann shares her unique way of describing attachment styles, and how that can help folks have a smoother separation and reunion in their partnerships.